So, it's no news that I am not a phone person. I still get criticized for it, though. And I probably always will. It's a piss off for me to be on the phone on a daily basis. I can do texts, emails.. and any other form of communication but not phone calls. Phone calls once in a while - tolerable. Often = no, no, no, no, no, no.
I dread being on the phone for hours unless it is for something urgent. A true phone hater will always want to steer clear of any matters that require being on the phone for a long time. I don't mind quick calls.. but I just don't like the whole "lets talk for an hour because we have nothing to do" thing.
It pisses off my man too because we have eliminated any phone conversation, whatsoever. We call each other may be twice in the entire day, for a duration of mostly 5 to ten minutes.
When I am talking to "new" people on the phone, it's even worse. I have to be careful with my choice of words because I can't see their reaction and I won't know if I said something wrong. Talking to me on the phone is like talking to a completely different person - a lame and boring one, in fact. I am much better in person.
My friends always say, "Why don't you ever pick up your phone?" The truth is - when I am home, I don't carry my phone with me. I am not the kind of person who would have her phone in her hands while being on the couch or anywhere else in the house. I am likely to leave my phone under the pillow in my bedroom, on silent. If I need to get something from upstairs, I'll check my phone - reply to people and go downstairs again. That is why you hear late from me. Sorry, I am a weirdo like that.
My parents are phone people for sure. But I am really not, may be because I am a writer and I need time to process my thoughts. That is why I am totally alert and too "careful" on the phone when speaking to important people and even my relatives. When my grandma leaves from here to go to India, I speak to her may be once in two years. But when she's back here, it's like we spoke everyday. If you don't 'talk' to people everyday, that does not mean you don't respect or love them. I wish some people understood this.
You know who is a phone person in my family? My mom. My mom can spend an hour on the phone, most comfortably. She talks to her siblings and mother on the phone for hours almost every third day. It is annoying at times because I have to wait an hour to get her attention. But when I talk on the phone.. it's like.. I cannot wait to get off it just after the "hello." This is how a typical phone call between my brother and I sounds like:-
Conversation One
Bro: Hello?
Me: Yo.
Bro: I am coming home. Can you pick me up from the GO Station at 1:30?
Me: Okay. Where should I park?
Bro: By bus number 8.
Me: Okay. Bye.
Bro: Bye.
Conversation Two
Me: Yo?
Bro: Yeah?
Me: Can you grab me a coffee on your way back home?
Bro: Okay. What do you want?
Me: Medium with one sugar and two milk.
Bro: Okay.
Me: Bye.
Literally.. I wish every phone conversation in the world was as easy is this. Another issue with me is that when I am talking on the phone, I cannot do anything else. I always used to walk around my house or find a seat on the living room sofa, secluded from every one else. I am the kind of person who CANNOT talk on the phone while driving either. Basically.. when I am on the phone, I can't really do anything else useful. Usually, people can cook food, wash dishes, do the laundry and other things while they are talking. I simply cannot. My mom is able to cook an entire meal, fold the laundry, and clean up the kitchen while being on the landline. That is totally beyond me. I don't understand how she does it.
I sometimes feel like calling people is a "burden." >_<
I feel like I am not coming anywhere close to being my real self and it's not emoting the real me. Just because I am unable to call a person is not because I don't want to. I very much do. I just don't know how. I don't know what the hell I am supposed to say to get a conversation going. I just never want to say the wrong thing.
If you guys know me.. you definitely know that I love being social. Call me for a lunch or dinner out and I won't stop blabbering. I am a conversationalist. I like talking to people, very very much. I just need a good atmosphere and a comfortable setting to do so. To me, it is more enjoyable and comfortable to be face to face with someone. I can talk to you for HOURS. You actually get to know the person without any interference and you get to see their reactions - which you don't on the phone.
There have been times in the past where I "tried" being a phone person. A particular person may have felt that I changed or something. But the truth is - I was 'faking' being that bubbly phone person in the first place. It was like a chore to me. I just couldn't maintain it, and it had to break.
I am sorry but I don't have any one to blame but myself. Sometimes, it's difficult to fight against one's own nature. And that is really my only excuse with this whole phone thing. I can't fake it anymore.
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