After self-loathing from two months ago and wallowing into my own sorrow - I've realized that it will never get better by clinging onto the negativity. I've learned one thing. And that is... having a great support system can do wonders. I made this post visible to 11 of my friends out of 300 people on Facebook. When I was custom selecting those friends, I somehow knew they would be able to relate or offer some advice.
Within a few minutes of my post, I was bombarded with messages from 10 out of those 11 people. Sometimes, you forget who you are surrounded by because you've been anti-social for so long. I was happily surprised that I have people who care for me even when we haven't spoken in months.
The common resolution that everyone offered was to take up an activity that I love. Some said - makeup, dancing, gym, arts and crafts and meditation. Then, I spent some time thinking what I should get involved with. The answer was - self-loving.
I've hated myself for so long and believe me, that is a complete 360 for me. I was very content and happy with myself for majority of my teenage years. Things just sort of went downhill for me after I got married because I let myself go. I became lazy and disinterested. I lost friends and didn't care to have a life outside home. I think I domesticated myself way too much.
I wanted to break out of this and the best way to do that was to hire a PT. I have only gone for 2 sessions so far but I can FEEL tremendous changes in the way I feel about myself. I am slowly going to gain my confidence back. I am eventually going to become the person I desire to be. It's going to be a gradual process because battling negative thoughts all day is very difficult.
But I wanted to thank everyone who has always offered their help and support and their kind words of encouragement to bring me back on track whenever I slip and slide into the world of depression. Without all of you, life would be lonely. Thanks, once again.
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