Authenticity of friendship

Post #14: Write about your friendships.

Love is complicated. We all know that. But men are simple. Friendships are not complicated, but women are. Even after years and years of making new friends and losing some - I have not been able to grasp an understanding of the dynamics of female friendships. I find the concept very confusing.

We all know there all different "types" of friends - such as the user, diplomat, negative one, the cheerful one, the one who cancels all plans and the one who likes to dominate the group.

But my concern is.. changing dynamics of female friendships. The keyword being "changing." We are constantly changing, and in a state of flux. We change clothes. We change people. We change relationships. It's true. We have all done it, purposely or not.

But, how do you find that one authentic friend? The one we have been searching since our childhood/teenage years. Because I have a brother, I can't talk about anything girly to anyone. I don't have cousins here. I have no other "girl" in my family that is within my reach to be friends with. Clearly, I need to have friends. We all do. Else we would go crazy. But where is that one friend we all have been looking for? The one that forgives and forgets. The one that tolerates all the ups and downs in the relationship but never lets it affect the love factor. The one who cares about your friendship as much as they would care about their relationship with their boyfriend. Is there anyone out there?

The answer is difficult.

The people we should technically address as friends are those whom we trust. The ones we can call at anytime and share anything without a worry. The ones who never leak out your secrets or judge you. The ones you would help you out in difficult times and be there for you in your good and bad.

I guess that is an orthodox definition of friendship now? Because clearly, there aren't very many people who can commit to something like this - including myself. We live in a world full of cunning people and we have been socialized not to trust anyone. So, how could anyone expect authenticity in any relationship when you are taught not to get too close?

I have been known for getting attached and getting detached even quicker. But, you know what my philosophy is.. whoever matters will stay in the end - no matter what. There have been a couple of people in my life that have been there for years. I am talking 5 - 10 years. And then there have been people who have hung out, taken pictures and have gone as fast as the wind.

Is it crazy to expect an authentic friend in the world we live in today?

I always tell everybody - I have had very few 'best' friends. I don't even refer to that as a term. I don't write on anyone's wall calling them a BFF and drawing hearts all over it. That's not what you makes a best friend anyway.  I have been a bad friend to many. But I've also been a good friend to those who meant something to me. There are misunderstandings everywhere! But they are to solve, not to pass on to other people and get their opinions on it to make yourself feel justified. You don't stop talking to somebody, and then start surveying in mutual friends if you did the right thing. That's no one's business. If you are ASKING someone who was right between you and the other person - then that gives the answer away itself.

The truth is - we all have 'friends' that are not really friends by definition. They are just there. People from school or colleagues. You might not like them, or even hate them in fact, but they are still there in your life. And frankly, you are going to keep them there and still bitch about them. I do that too, if an event occurs as such.

All of a sudden,  I forgot the entire point of this post. But I still think I made some valid points, so I'll wrap it up here. Another challenge down! A billion more to go =)