YOU, and only you.

The secret ingredient to unhappiness is comparison. Sure, we all know that. But how often do we really think about it? The truth is, we compare ourselves to the people we know and the society almost constantly. It makes us feel bad about ourselves, especially when it comes to our own friends. I hate it when there is an element of jealousy within a friendship.

It will never help you compare yourself to other people whether it is about their body, their success or their money. We have got to live our lives without comparing our's to somebody else. That somebody else will not be there next year when you make new friends. You will start comparing yourself to the new person you met soon enough. It's a vicious cycle. We all plenty of people everyday. It only makes sense to tell our brains to STOP the comparison.

People seek validation from others in order to confirm if they are doing the right thing. So, seek less approval from others. Life has taught me great lessons about who to trust. While we may sit here and think someone cares about us.. they could actually be using you to their convenience.

I am a worrier. And I think a lot about what others think about me. The truth is - I didn't before. But I do now... ever since I was committed in a relationship. I feel like people have a lot more to say about me now. But I can't let those opinions get to me. You cannot let a bunch of useless opinions break down your courage. To be honest, it is more than half my fault. I put my life out there. And that takes guts. But it also invites criticism and haters. I am open to that. No problem. There are days where I really get bothered about a comment. But.. the next day, I am proud of who I am and those opinions don't bother me anymore.

That is how it should be right?

The famous Aristotle said, "Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, being nothing."

Trust me I know because I used to seek approval in high school until I realized it was a waste of time. We all go through the phase where we want to hang out with popular people and try to "fit in" with a certain group. The desire to get people to like me motivated me to make a lot of mistakes in life. I am not proud of them.

In the beginning of my relationship.. I had a lot of issues. I used to call up friends and discuss with them. I always wanted to hear that I was right in the situation. Why did I need validation from somebody else to tell me that I was right? I think we all go through this phase. And then we totally close up on our friends and our relationship becomes this really private thing. The truth is.. most of your friends ask you how your relationship is because they are secretly hoping you guys are fighting. True story.

You have got to let go of validation from others. This means knowing yourself completely. It means acknowledging and observing your talk, behavior and identifying your choices. You will find out yourself whether you did the right thing or not. When you make a decision, check in with yourself if it feels right and remind yourself that you are your SOLE judge and only you can give yourself validation for just being you.

No one else. Cheers :)