You set your own standards

Remember, that saying? "Your friends tell a lot about who you are!" The people you hang out with can greatly influence your life.  I don't completely believe in this saying solely because friendship doesn't have much of the same value it did back in the years. Now, people have different meanings of friendships. They categorize friends by groups. I often hear my friends say, "No, I am hanging out with my 'other' group of friends today. Apparently, there are classifications. Because there are so many types of people, and we calculate who won't get along with who. That's why we separate them into those groups.

Yesterday, I met the most random bunch of people. They were not "my" friends. They were a friend's friends. And I am usually the first one to break the ice if I meet a good bunch. But I am also a quick judge. I got to know within the first five minutes, that this group is not worth hanging out with. They were extremely immature, spoilt, and had their own selfish motives of being there. I felt like I was witnessing high school all over again. But that's okay, some people just don't grow up, or take time. But in all honesty, I can't hang out with people who smoke - because it bothers me. I am asthmatic and it gives me a headache. I can't hang out with people who talk about nothing but guys. It irritates me. I am committed, not fishing and I don't need to hear about your stories if I don't even know you. I was forced to be with this group because of that friend. It was my choice to stay or leave, and I certainly left when the limits were crossed. That's when I saw one of them smoking pot. Honestly, I have been here for more than ten years, and I have not even seen what marijuana looks like. I am not interested to see it. No offence to those who do it - to each their own. That was my "beyond the limit" moment. I left without saying bye.

Not to lie, sometimes when I just wanna watch a movie with a girlfriend, apart from the ones that live so far away from me (i.e. Beeni, Shweta etc.), it becomes so hard for me to pick up the phone and call a girl. Why? Because I don't have too many girlfriends. I am not ashamed to admit it. I hang out with guys because I prefer to be in a space with less drama, and emotion. There are only a few girls in my life who come without it, as mentioned above. Hence, if I am gonna have friends, they are gonna be GOOD friends. Not some random people to hang out with just because I have company. To avoid being a loner, I wouldn't hang out with snobs. I would rather be by myself.

Your friends are not only based on who you are comfortable with, but also who you share the most interests with. Needless to say, I had no interests in common with those potheads. There are so many great people out there. There is so much learn from people on a daily basis. Choose friends wisely, and you will grow as a person too. But if you're the type that thinks "Friends come and go," then that's okay. I was talking about creating lasting and meaningful relationships. I used to think that too, when I had so many useless people around. But as I matured, I realized that they really aren't friends. This takes me back to the categorization of friends - i.e. time pass friends, college friends, neighborhood friends, the popular crew etc.

Back in high school, I wasn't picky about friends. But after high school, I learned that a friend should be able to be there for you at the end of the day. Sharing lunches and hanging out at school and not being able to invest any emotions is not really friendship. Friendships are less superficial. I know I don't make the maximum effort to hang out with my good friends, but that does not mean that I don't value them.

This blog is for a friend, and I hope she doesn't take it offensively. Because she is already labelled as one of those girls. And I am not going to discuss the labels they have been given. Rumors are faster than electricity in high-school like environments and there is so much drama. Your friends are your advisory board, the ones that care for you. Not the ones, that are their for there own reasons. I invested so much time and energy into this girl for many years, advising her repetitively and answering all her questions. For the first time, I feel that I wasted my time. And I am not gonna babysit her anymore. She can choose her own friends. I am no one's day care teacher. If that's the kind of standard she sees for herself, then so be it.

There is no criteria for finding friends. But it depends mostly on, who YOU are. You shouldn't need self-validation from others. I also dislike friends who are highly dependent on the other person for all sorts of things, from the color of their outfit to the things they should be doing on dates. Create your own understanding, and broaden your mind. Do not keep doing things that people tell you to. In the end, when more than half of these people are gone away from your life, you won't have a personality at the end of the day because you will be so used to letting others make decisions for you.

In the end, all I wanna say is.. yesterday should have been a self-realization for you, to understand who is there for you at the end of the day, and who isn't. Good luck with the rest of your friendships, because I am opting out.