Anger, the worst emotion.

Anger. It can destroy a relationship. It can scare away children. It can provoke violence. It can start a war.
Everyone looks at it so negatively. And, why shouldn't we? It's most associated with negativity and violence. But in relationships (and solely in relationships, I don't mean to discuss anything more), anger may be a form of expression. It may be a form of relief. Yelling and screaming, and being sarcastic may actually help a person to get rid of their built-up emotions. Anger is just another form of emotional energy.

For example, that angry blog I wrote an hour or two ago.. I was thinking about writing a blog the entire way home. It was my form of relief. It was better than calling a friend, because I wouldn't have to hear them say anything. I can write whatever I want. And that helps me calm down. And quite obviously, I am much more calm now than I was when I wrote that blog.

Honestly, anger is a very misunderstood but natural emotion. And what inspired me to write this blog is Beenish's text. She said, "You know us Cancerians, our anger is temporary. And we are patient until we explode. And we never see what we are doing to the other person in anger." - This to me, is an eye opener! When I am angry, I take everything WAY too emotionally and seriously. And obviously, so does he. But what we fail to understand is, the HURT, the harsh words, the rude actions are all part of the anger. It is an emotional response to a situation, i.e walking out.

Anger isn't bad. It's the uncontrollable anger that is dangerous. The kind where people are really violent and can hurt you, while not even realizing it.
Now, anger analysis:

My anger: I am angry more often, and it takes me seconds to get angry. But, when it comes to letting things go, I am the first one to say "Raat gayi, baat gayi!"

His anger: Builds up and develops over time. Not the usual temporary anger that comes and goes away. And most often leads to an explosive attack and takes time to heal.

I don't know which one is healthier. I thought both of them could be because everyone is different and they handle their emotions differently. It is unfair to expect someone to act a certain way according to your personality. But NO. This is NOT the case.

When we immediately address our angry emotions, we are much less likely to burn bridges in our relationship. And much more likely to deal with the situation in a more positive manner by communicating and taking it the healthy route. But anger that builds over time leads to destruction of the self and relationships. It pushes people away and isolates the person who is angry into bitterness. And that explains why I have been so lonely and sad the past week, with all the ignorance. This matter should have been resolved a week and a half ago. The separation anxiety kills me. I love you way too much to do that to us. I wish we can communicate in a better way and not let anger do this to us.

When an issue is addressed ASAP, misunderstandings are quickly recovered but if you wait long periods of time, and don't talk about it, and avoid confrontation - it bottles up. You are so angry and hurt today because you let your thoughts consume you for this long. I thought it was unreasonable for you to be this angry because I don't hold in my anger for that long. You feel the bitterness in your heart towards me and that's why you don't wanna be close to me. THIS is why!

It's not rocket science that communication is key in a relationship. I understand it is difficult to communicate effectively at a time when you are so angry and in the heat of the moment. I use my time to cool off (like I just did and I am back with a much more logical blog) and communicate in a tactful way. Forgiveness and grace have been the key ingredients of our relationship, so what happened today? It's because you are piling things on and that's not going to make it any better.

Anger is a very volatile emotion and it is self-damaging. It can take away your peace of mind, like it pretty much has for you. And underlying your anger are feelings of insecurity. We may be sorry tomorrow after these angry explosions, but the damage has been done. And bouncing back to that happiness and harmony is a difficult process. Why let it get to that point?

Look, none of us are perfect. In fact, our imperfections connect us. I am lazy, you are a work-a-holic. You want mothering, and I cuddle you like a baby. You want me to take charge sometimes, and I know where to take it ;) You suck at cooking, and I suck at cooking (oh.. unfortunately, there's no connection there!)
You like messiness, I like cleanliness, and you're so lucky that I'll keep everything clean for you. You sing terribly, and I have the art of selective hearing (my ears block out unwanted noises). I fart a lot, and you have no sense of smell (apparently, I spend on perfumes for no reason). You are so clumsy, and I am so organized. I love watching movies, and you love eating popcorn (so, it gives you a reason to sit for 2 hours). I am a deep sleeper (I won't even wake up if you play a dhol in my bedroom, and you hear the alarm and jolt out of bed). You are extremely honest, and I make mistakes. You don't have a six pack, and I am not a size zero. So, you see.. it all fits in. The most important imperfection is, I love you, and you love me way more than I do. I publicly apologize for all the mistakes that I have made. I am really sorry for everything. But I won't apologize for the fact that I believe in "us." I believe that there is no other match out there, that beats us (Sorry Beeni and Navneet, and others, you know what I mean right? :p)

And I feel that there is no reason big enough in the world for me to cause you any hurt or pain. And I am deeply hurt myself, so it evens out. No one should have to live with any kind of aggression in their lives. I have an outlet to vent the anger. I have my blog. I have my dear friends. And, I know that you can't even share with any of your friends. So, it's more damaging to you than it is to me. And I am ashamed that I am the reason for your frown, while all I wanted to be is the reason for your smile and happiness. These soft words are not just to show you love and respect, I actually mean these words because I feel bad inside. Anger leads to an ugly end. And I am sorry sweetie, but I am way too pretty for that :|