Learn to negotiate..

As promised, I said I would mention some valuable negotiation tips from my class.. I do have a lot of time on my hands today because I am waiting for my lecture to start at 1:00 pm. I thought I would quickly post this and run off to class. Plus, I haven't blogged a whole lot lately.. so this makes up for it.

There are five basic techniques to conflict resolution:-

1) Avoidance - "no way"
2) Accommodation - "your way"
3) Compromise - "half way"
4) Competition - "my way"
5) Collaboration - "our way"

I could go into each one and explain it in detail but I think it's unique when they use "no way" and "my way" to illustrate whose interests are being taken care of through the resolution. Most of the times, we use more than just one of these techniques to negotiate. We might try one, might not succeed and move on to the next. I find myself usually avoiding, competing or compromising. I haven't really succeeded at "our way" (collaboration) and I never let someone have the benefit of having it their way. Says a lot about me.. hmm..

More interesting points..

1. Separate "people" from the "problem."
I think this is what I struggle with most of the times, and a lot of us do. We always mix the people and the problem together, and emotions get involved. In no time, it becomes a tragic mess. One must identify what the root "problem" is instead of mixing their personal grudges with the person into the problem. Let's not make a cocktail out of it. Separate them!

2. Focus on interests, not positions.
As I mentioned earlier, I really remain strong in my position sometimes and forget the root cause of the argument. It shouldn't really be about proving who is right or wrong, as long as you identify the problem and solve it - it's all good.

Other helpful tips:
We have two ears, and a mouth. It basically means we should listen more and talk less.

Always let the other person go first, it's a courtesy gesture and it gives you time to hear them out before you make your own assumptions and start talking.

When making negotiations at school, or at the workplace, keep emotions out. Be strictly professional.

Make long-term resolutions for issues, don't just brush them under the carpet. The same things will keep on coming up if you don't solve them for good. You can temporarily forget about it or ignore it, but it WILL come back and bother you, again. Better to just deal with it once, and for all.

P.S. I am funny sometimes, and I prefer doing things an "educational" way with Nish. I have decided to ask him which "way" is it gonna be this time? That way, we know that we will be choosing one or more out of those five options. It makes the person consciously aware of competing. For example, I wouldn't say, I want it "my way" because I am competing with you. Most likely, we are gonna try to "compromise" or even better, "collaborate." These things don't just sound good on paper, they actually work. Trust me!

Alright, now I am gonna head to class.. have a great day everybody! =)