Delusion?

Most of us.. consciously or unconsciously have a delusion of what a perfect relationship is. Fights, arguments, and disagreements are all part of a "perfect" relationship. It is really not what you see on TV. It is less of Shahrukh Khan and Kajol in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and more of Sam and Ronni on Jersey Shore (a lot less violent though). I honestly get really pissed off when guys treat "conflict" in such a negative way. You CANNOT live happily ever after, EV-AR! There are going to be transgressions and other things testing your patience at all times. It is an emotional roller coaster ride. Advice: Get used to it! Treat CONFLICT as a part of everyday life, as opposed to a "sign" for you to end your relationship.

If you cannot handle yourself in a mental ditch, kindly do not sign up for a relationship. Conflict is a part of our everyday life. Just because a couple is fighting "too much" does not mean they should break up. That's the instant advice that comes out of everywhere. No one wants to consider the actual dynamics of the relationship. May be two people are not doing what they can do to avoid that conflict and negativity. It is not the conflict that matters, it is the resolution that does. If you cannot work it out, then you might want to consider alternatives.

But really, the point of this post was.. It is surprising to see that guys have such a delusional perspective of what a relationship should be like. I guess the perfect relationship for them is when their girls listen to everything they say, do everything they say, be subservient to them, give them respect and do not expect in any return, and pretty much agree with everything they have to offer. A little talking back, a little disrespect, a little irritation, a little debate can challenge their egos so much.. I really had no idea! Taking this to a feminist point of view, as always... Conflict resolution is not the responsibility of a "woman." It is the responsibility of the "two" in the relationship whether it is a man and a man, woman and a woman, or the traditional man and a woman. The couple is responsible on a mutual level to eradicate any negativity that surrounds them. Please get over the South Asian ideal woman who will sacrifice, be subservient, and will do anything for her partner's happiness.

Sorry for scattered thoughts..