Amour et ANGER?

I know the French for love is 'amour' but I was too lazy to figure out the translation for anger. And that's not the point. The point is, conflict and anger management. Relationships are delicate. They are easily broken. Sentiments are easily hurt. Tears are easily bought to our eyes. Everything can be easily done. The hard part is fixing it all. And there is no quick fix. The trust can take up years to build. Not going off track here, but conflict is our everyday part in love and life. And for a person like me, who is highly emotional and very quick to reactions - it is hard to think rationally.

Do you guys remember the days when we were young, and we would fight with our siblings, and our parents would step in to solve the problem? Because it was considered that we don't have the maturity, sensibility or intelligence to solve our issues? But what happens now? Now that we are young adults and have the maturity, sensibility and intelligence to solve our issues? Well, some of us. We need to learn how to deal with conflict on our own and that's the hard part of a relationship. Half of the time couples fight is not regarding the root cause of the fight; along the way, it becomes about raising a finger, pushing, rolling eyeballs, saying hurtful things etc. In essence, we lose the meaning of the actual reason to fight. It is because we get so caught up with our emotions or let anger take over.

So, how do you deal with all this? I used to be the girl who had to talk about issues and resolve them right away. I could not go home without a resolution or putting a frown on someone's face. Over the years, when I was treated badly and with the way I changed myself, I have become someone completely different. I am ignorant for the most part. I have learned to avoid situations. Walking away is like the perfect solution. I am almost like a coward, running away from problems.. thinking I won't have to face them if I took a turn somewhere. And I realize it. That's why I wanna work on improving some of these characteristics because I feel that my ego may hurt my relationship over time. And I don't want that.

You can do many things with your anger. You can:-
- Keep it all in
- Let it all out
- Yell it off, then cool off, and then come back to talk when you're ready for it.

I have tried all of these. I feel that the third one works for me the best. I like to be left alone at the time of the conflict. This is why I walk away. And when I am actually not mad anymore, I will go back and talk.. in a sensible way. And honestly, it might seem rude to the other person.. but to me, it is right. Because I know I will aggravate the situation if I keep yelling or arguing back at the time. And I end up saying negative things, like any other human being at a time like this. I'd rather not embarrass myself and NOT say those things. That is why I walk away.

I do value peace more than anger. And I value love more than hate. Hence, I am gonna try to think of effective ways to deal with my anger and conflict. I try to use "reason" to defeat anger most of the times. I put on my "matter of fact" hat on my head, and set out to rationally debate the issue, IF the other person is doing the same. But it is hard when the other person is being equally insolent.

Thoughts? Feelings?