Fuck you and flee

I must say, that I have now "mastered" the art of running away from problems and walking away from situations. The only time I actually happen to come to eye level with my problems is when it is about to be too late. I attended my first class at Humber today for a course I just signed up for. It is called "Negotiation, Mediation and Arbitration." Honestly speaking, I really need this course. I liked it so much already! We just reviewed behaviour roles and cycles of communication. There is a positive and a negative to everything - whether it be collaboration, avoidance, compromises, determining outcomes or caring about relationships.

I always take the easy route - walking away. But.. I do come back, and resolve issues, when it is too late. It is certainly not something I appreciate about myself. It is rather something I would like to change. We also studied "triggers" of communication that bring negative consequences. Basically, the professor did not read off of the book or present a powerpoint. It was just one-on-one conversations with the students to look for the answers to what she was teaching! And we had nearly ALL the answers. This is one of the things I love about college! It is just so much more interactive than the useless theory I memorize and cram for tests at UTM. Anyway.. back to the topic.. for the triggers question, I answered.. "When someone raises their pitch and intonation, or rolls eyes at me." I mean.. literally.. that's it. From that point on, the conversation is going downhill for sure.

Other things are, pointing fingers (physically) and trying to talk over my voice when I am talking. This is something that Nish and I need to work on, and I am sure many of you do too. I hate it when people talk over my voice, but sometimes I do that to people too. So, I can't expect something that I do not do myself. I have a feeling that this course will definitely have positive outcomes for me (if not in the field of law, then especially in life). And I need it very much! As much as I claim to be good at communication (and I am), but sometimes, I purposely walk out and stop talking. I need to stop doing that. I need to talk, and put all the thoughts on the table. I think we all do.

We need to listen as much as we talk. We need to get thoughts of both parties out in the air, so we can come to a mutual decision, to account for mutual gain. I need to stop being so strong about "my position" in a situation. I need to focus on what the "issue" is. Taking emotions out of the equation is equally important when making a rational decision. I usually do this when I am "over" my emotional turmoil. I usually prefer to cool off when I am pissed off (because no one can think rationally when you're angry). Then.. I come back to the person, and talk it out rationally. I do have the ability to solve things in a mature, civil, and responsible manner. But I just choose to avoid all that work and effort, and let things be. And that has been my downfall many times.

I am hoping to walk away with tonnes of meaningful and valuable information from this course. And if there is something else to mention from the text I am reading for this course, I will not be hesitant to mention it. Because, let's face it. We all land ourselves into conflict, either at work, school, with friends or our intimate relationships. Negotation and mediation actually help lessen differences in relationships and work in both people's favor to make it a win-win situation. I think I should TA this course =D

P.S. Next week, we're discussing "assumptions" and the kind of consequences it can land us into. I know you're gonna love for me to learn this one Kanchi :)