Wedding Series: The 'L' word and it's not love.

Hello to all my brown ladies.

Today's post is about the second important 'L' word in our lives, LEHENGAS.

You girls are gonna relate to every single word I am about to write here. Let's get that straight. Sometimes, I wish I had a church wedding. It would be slightly less hectic to choose a wedding gown than choosing a lehenga. Now, someone white may oppose this statement and say, 'You Indian people have a billion colours and styles to choose from!' It actually doesn't matter which race you are. Getting a bridal dress is equally as hectic for everyone.

If you're feeling pressured to find the 'perfect' wedding dress, then read on. Because I am about to tell you some very mean things, lol. I am not big on finding the perfect lehenga sent from the heavens above. Really, I am not. My engagement lehenga was chosen by my mother. I wasn't even there to shop for it, lol. I didn't try it on. I had no fittings. But see, that could go wrong because the bust for my blouse was way smaller than my size. I had to spend an extra $100 to send it to India through a boutique here and get a new one made with the exact same embroidery. I saw a glimpse of the lehenga on my iPhone because my mom face-timed me from the store she was shopping at. They showed me two lehengas - TWO! Just two! And I chose the one I liked. That being said, I believe in the fact that the more you see, the more confusing it gets. But that's just me. There are girls who wanna do the utmost research before they get an outfit because it is gonna be in your photos and videos forever. You obviously don't wanna go wrong with that.

I did some basic research myself. But I am not crazy about the idea of spending a fortune on a dress I am gonna wear once. Neither am I crazy about spending time to hunt for it. So, I am gonna go with a very open mind. I have 3 weeks to shop for it, which I think is sufficient time. If I take pictures with me, I will be looking for something that might not be available to me in my budget. Mind you, almost everything is available in India but I don't wanna carry a certain image of a particular lehenga because I will be disappointed if I don't get it. That is why, it is best to go with an open mind but also some knowledge. For example, you can have the fabric in mind. Is there a certain type of fabric which irritates your skin? You can also have the type of embroidery or work in mind. Like, sequins, zari, jaal work etc. Which part of the lehenga do you want the heaviest? Do you want it to be consistent all over?

The Lehenga

The lehenga has three parts for those who don't know: the blouse, the skirt and the dupatta. For myself, I want a lightly-embroidered blouse, a heavy skirt, and a medium-heavy dupatta. At least we have that established. I want a lightly-embroidered blouse because I don't want it to interfere with my jewelry. Too many necklaces on a heavy embellished blouse take away from the jewelry, the blouse, and the entire look. I want the skirt to be heavy because my engagement lehenga was super simple. I was waiting to wear a heavy bridal outfit, so I kept that one simple. And when will I wear something heavy, if not my wedding? The dupatta fabric has to be net. I feel that net is easier to manage. It is also easier to pin net dupattas than to pin other fabric. Also, we spend a ton of money on our hair and makeup. Our hair doesn't even show through the fabric dupattas. So, you can totally show off your up-do in a net dupatta. The net dupatta should have a medium-heavy border.

Colours

As for the colours.... I looked at a lot of lehengas. I honestly dislike the colour trend. Colours have been big for 2013 and 2014. Everyone is into the purples, pinks, oranges, corals, green and beige-tones. I want a true red and gold lehenga because I wanna keep it traditional. This is also something to think about... whether you want a modern bridal look or a vintage/traditional look. I am opting for a complete 1980s royal-bridal look. From what I've seen, most modern brides aren't wearing the nose jewelry. They've kept it simple to a teeka, necklace and earring set. I wanna do the entire nath and matha-patti along with royal-like necklaces (ideally 2 - a short and a long) plus earrings. At least, that's what I have visualized for myself. It might change when I go shopping.

Shape

Then, it is important to think about the style and shape of the lehenga. There are fishcut lehengas. Then, there are A-line lehengas, wide-skirt lehengas, jacket lehengas (with the long layered jacket), and a full flare lehenga. People have lots of opinions about which body shape should wear what. I am top-heavy. My legs are thinner in proportion to my body. My weight mostly revolves around my stomach and back area. According to these online articles, I should wear a jacket-style lehenga because I have an Apple shaped body. But I have to wear this garment, so I will decide what's good for my body. I wanna go for a full-flare lehenga. My engagement lehenga's skirt was minimal flare. I am planning to go twice as heavy on the flare from that. It draws attention away from your stomach. A tummy sucker also goes a long way. I should've worn one for my engagement, but I didn't.

Blouse (Arms)

Do you want full sleeves? Half-sleeves? 3/4 sleeves? My engagement blouse was a kurti style which was 3/4 sleeves. Generally, brides opt for either half-sleeves or without sleeves because they want to show off their mehndi and 'choora.' I will be going for half-sleeves for the blouse.

Comfort

Comfort is super important to me. So, I am not gonna sacrifice my comfort and go with a lehenga I can't even walk straight in. I see a lot of people wearing things they cannot carry gracefully. It takes 2 people to lift their skirt so they can walk. No offense to those. But it's not my cup of tea. I need to wear something I can walk in by myself without tripping. You need to do a lot of things at a Hindu wedding in general. So, it is important to walk, turn, sit and bend comfortably. If you can't do that, you're gonna have a hard time. Also, don't forget you will need to lift your arms to hug your loved ones.

Neckline

It's also important to determine which neckline is suitable for you according to your bust. For me, deep necklines are usually flattering for my heavy bust. I tend to look really bad in round necks that are really close to my neck. My lehenga blouse's front neck was about 7 and a half inches deep. You would know these measurements when you get measured for Indian clothes. I am planning to go for the same measurement for my neckline. Anything V-shaped looks horrible on me. I prefer a sweetheart neckline or a classic round neck. I know a lot of people say that V-shaped necks work best for heavy busts, but not for me. They tell you to avoid round - but somehow, a deep round neck suits me well. I am gonna opt for the sweetheart neckline though.

Draping

Saree-style Draping

Draping is everything in a lehenga! If it's not done tastefully, it can ruin the entire look of your lehenga - no matter how gorgeous it may be. I have seen some horrible draping on really pretty girls that could have looked even better. I don't blame them. This ties into the fact that you need a good hair, makeup and draping person to pin everything nicely. I don't want the dupatta to hang from my head and pinned onto the skirt's side. I want it to be draped like a saree. I am opting for double dupattas because some dupattas are super heavy to manage on top of your hairstyle. The trend these days seems to be draping the lehenga's matching dupatta like a saree and getting a light net dupatta to go above your head. That way, it stays light up there and your hair isn't ruined. Plus, you don't have to have a thousand pins in your hair to hold everything together.

Every bride wants to look her best on her wedding day. And every bride has different ideas for what is best for her. And I am by no means any expert on this stuff. I've simply listed my ideas above, so please don't judge. Thankfully, the bridal industry in India and Pakistan has come so far. If there are a million designers, then there are a billion replicas. There is something for everybody. There is a lehenga for Rs. 20,000 and then there is one for Rs. 2 Lakhs. It's all about what YOU want and are looking for. The options are endless. Even though I have certain ideas in mind about the shape and colour of the lehenga, I am open about the styles, fabric, embroidery, material etc. The one factor that will help you narrow down your choices while selecting wedding lehengas is the budget. And I have a set budget in mind. So, I will not be looking at ANYTHING above that budget. Because once you look at something you can't afford, then it's hard to like the lehengas in your range.

Double Dupatta

I don't mean to end this blog in a cheesy way... but I feel... a happy bride will like anything! If you're excited about everything that is happening around that time, minor disappointments about your outfit won't matter as much. Now, the only risky thing for me is - finding one that's just right in 21 days. That's the real challenge. Having anything customized is not an option for me because I can't depend on any tailor to take a couple of days or weeks to fix it with the risk of not having it back on time. I have to pick up a ready-made garment. Minor alterations can take place but nothing as major as re-designing an entirely new blouse etc.

I have a map of the places I want to go to. That will cut time and increase efficiency. I've written down the names and addresses of the stores I am interested in. There are only 3 and I am planning to walk out with a lehenga from one of the three stores. I am enjoying this Wedding series because it is giving me an opportunity to organize my thoughts in writing. That way, I also stay on top of things while you guys get a read out of it :)

Good luck to all my brides this year!