Just rational, not apathetic.

Last night, I was studying at Humber and I had a friend coming over. We were going out for coffee and he looked awfully sad as I got in the car. When I asked him, "What's wrong?" He told me that somebody is moving out from the place he is supposed to move in to. And that they just met up. Originally, the man was not supposed to move out till October but now he is requesting my friend to move in by the end of this month. Why?

He was just separated from his wife. And it's been nine days or something. He actually started to share his story with my friend and almost cried. My friend said I won't even take rent from him, since I already paid my last month's rent to the owner of my place. And that his wife is such a bitch.

Well, first of all. I listened patiently and said, "Hmm.. that's sad. But I don't think you should be calling her a bitch." That kinda set me off a little bit. He said, "Not everything in the world is your feminist crap. Women are genuinely wrong sometimes and they can ruin lives." Well, I agree but the woman wasn't there. You didn't speak to her. You don't know the story. You don't know the people. The man can fabricate whatever he wants.  I mean, yes... it's sad in general but it does not evoke emotion in me. One, because I wasn't there to see how truthful and genuine this man was when he was crying out his scene. And two, I am not gonna believe anything because 50% of the story is missing. His wife went off to England so she doesn't have to wait one year for divorce, as per the law in Canada. Three, I never mix business transactions with emotions. If I were in his place, I'd probably think he is being over emotional so he wouldn't have to pay the remaining month's rent and ask me to move in, despite my payment of my last month's rent. 

My friend got so pissed off at me for NOT being as sad as he hoped I would. Well, sorry! It just doesn't make me emotional when I don't know what has actually happened. Yes, a separation has taken place and it is devastating. But I cannot easily invoke emotions for people I have no connection to. I am not a person who cries easily for someone else's pain, unless it's mine. Call me selfish! Friends excluded, though. He is a stranger and God knows what happened between them in the last five years. God knows whose fault it was. It always takes two for something this big to happen. And my friend said, that he even mentioned that she might have been dating somebody else. I actually believe this to be so cliche. When a woman leaves you, blame it on her and the fact that she can be promiscuous. Character assassination is the first tool at hand for men to insult women when they leave them.

I am in no way saying she was innocent, or guilty. I am not even saying that the man possibly did something wrong there. All I am saying is, sorry I cannot be emotional for stories without factual information. I don't know whether it's this field of Criminology that has made me this way. But I cannot feel what you are feeling. Your feelings are different because you met the man and he hugged you. If I were to meet his wife and go through the same thing, I would still be skeptical of the woman. I used to always believe one-sided stories. Over the past years, I have learned not to. And it has definitely helped in developing relationships, instead of destroying them.