Can't emote this feeling..

I think there is something beautiful about emoting sadness. Especially.. when revealing it without moving your lips. After our little disagreement, I went to see him yesterday. Even a four day temporary separation could be moving when you are so consumed in love. Look at me get all mushy again, eh =)

It makes me smile, when I think back to how much I've changed over the last while. If I read my first few blogs from 2010, and compare them to the ones I am writing now - I can see a different person. There is enough proof with all the things I write about "love." A lot of my friends suggest, and sometimes assertively prohibit me from writing about my relationship for many reasons. I just cannot hold things in. I have to write. Oh.. my love for writing.

When we argue, and don't see each other.. somehow, we put on this "strangers" act. It goes from being overtly intimate to avoiding even the slightest touch. If I sit on the couch, he will grab a chair and sit farther away from me until I talk and just let it all out. I was extremely sad for various reasons yesterday. I won't get into what they were, may be another post. But, he was caressing my hair.. trying not to. He would try to control himself, but really couldn't see me sad.

That moment when you have voices in your head, talking to you.. and you know exactly what's going to happen in a few minutes. When you are just waiting to hug each other from so many days.. Not the consoling hug, but the 'love' hug that you are trying to control, with all these feelings rushing in. Even the slightest touch while playing up this strangers act creates electrifying emotions for me. That soft and gentle touch of even your cheeks rubbing together while initiating a hug.. When you let go of the silly act, and throw your arms around each other and clench other as tight as you can, as if it was long overdue. When the head is turned in towards his neck, and the duration of such hugs.. when you don't say anything and just let go in relief. No conversation is needed at this time. When he's lightly holding you, and enjoying the blissful, happy silence.

And then.. he pulls one of those, in the picture above. It's when I try to get away, and avoid talking about the fight. Then, he just snuggles in and forgives you for being so stupid, and sorts it all out. Best part of my day!

Okay, I am done =) sorry for those who almost threw up. I could be crazy mushy sometimes..