"Love" - one fucked up misunderstood emotion.

I don't even know where to begin. I was talking to Sakshi a few weeks ago, about feeling lonely and empty. I will probably sound totally random and sadly I can't explain the whole situation because many people stalk my life. I don't blame you, I put it out here, but only with the intention that someone or the other is going through what I am going, and my words might relate to you and let you feel you're not in it alone. That's the sole purpose.

Have you had times in your life when you've had no one to share anything with? No one to call? (In terms of relationships). And then you have more than one person claiming to be in love with you. What the hell do you do? Two people who are close to you, as close as the other. It's a fucked up thing. I hate it when people tell you to "choose." Like listen you fuck, if I could choose, you wouldn't even exist in the equation. I have been hurt in the past before, like every other human and I know what it means to put someone through that. And I would NEVER do that to anyone. Considering that most of my blogs are about love and relationships, feelings, mistakes you make and about everyday life, everything is true and comes from experience. I don't write about fairy tale fantasies or things that are unreal in the world today.

What I am trying to say is, I am stuck in a situation.. it's never good when your ex wants to return to your life while you are entangled with someone you could be with in the future. And since I am the one who always lectures about using the mind before the heart, I can't fall flat with my own words. That would make me a hypocrite, which I am not.

I have so much else going on in life. I have been going through so many family problems and they get worse day by day. I hate to discuss them with anyone. And I have other worries.. it's my last year of university. I might have to attend a fifth semester and I am worried about my driving lessons since I am phobic. And so much more! At a time like this, I hate to be part of additional emotional episodes. My life has been so drama-less by eliminating certain people from my life. It has been much peaceful from the last year. I can say 2011 proved to be a good year for me in terms of people, their dramas and non stop bitching. And now I am stuck in this love crap. I hate it. Please keep your emotions to yourself. I am a person who is happier alone. So, just leave me alone? Thank you.