Awkward moments.

Coincidentally, I had one of those weird walking-by moments. I am sure you all walk by people at school/university that you don't want to come across but when they do, you artificially make a brief conversation. Then, there are people you see from far away and start looking elsewhere so you don't make eye contact. There are others who pass by and one person talks and you just don't know what to say. I have gone through all of these weird times with different people. This time, it was someone close.

We had stopped talking and I didn't think I would see her again. I was walking, completely indulged in my own little world when I saw three girls coming across. I only happened to notice the other 2 and not her. When we appeared a little closer, I recognized her and had the urge to stop and greet her like I usually would've. But we walked by with a "Hi, how are you?" I felt like guilt was oozing out of me for the rest of the day. It was my fault, because things you do intentionally cannot be categorized as mistakes. You guys would not understand it. My situations are way too weird for me to even explain them legitimately. 

What I am trying to say here is... sometimes, you live with a guilt for a long time. I don't know if it is better to confront or do something about it but I almost never do. Knowing my lousy and careless nature, my friend wouldn't be surprised to know. Apparently, I always have reasons but I keep them to myself. That has never done me any good. Perhaps, I just don't want to take a lesson from that. It's hard to face people that you don't talk to anymore. It's even hard facing them knowing that if you say a word to each other now, it has no meaning. For example, that "Hi, how are you?" would translate into "I didn't wanna see your face, let alone talking to you, but you popped out of nowhere and left me with no choice." 

I just felt I should write about it because I felt bad. And the day following that incident was bad as well. Everything was a downfall from there. I don't know if she thought ill of me (which she reserves all rights to), or maybe it was just a bad day. I am too tired to make sense right now, good night guys.